STOPPING BY THE WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING – By Donald J Trump

trump

I have a pretty good idea whose woods these are, believe me.
And let me tell you something, my people say he’s a complete nobody.
This guy lives in the village.   So what if he sees me stopping here?
I dare him to sue me!   I dare him!

And by the way, this snow is pathetic.
These are by far, the least downy flakes ever!
I hear they had to import them from Canada.
I don’t know.  Maybe they did.  Maybe they didn’t.  We’re looking into it.

My horse – he’s the most incredible horse, seriously,
I have the greatest, the classiest horses –
My horse doesn’t even know what the hell we’re doing here.
The horses love me though.  They do.
They’re always shaking their bells at me, it’s very loving.
It’s a beautiful thing.

Let me tell you something, these woods are an embarrassment.
They’re not dark.  They’re not deep.  They’re nothing.  They’re for losers.
And I cannot wait to sue this guy.
I cannot wait to sue this guy.

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157 COMMENTS

  2. Let me tell you, my friends, there is no call in a Presidential race for this man and his henchmen to make personal attacks upon my woods and snow. This kind of slime and sleaze is not what We want in our President of the United States of America when We are facing the Greatest Crises in Our American History: too much health care and too much international cooperation.

      • John Spears. “Too much health care and too much international cooperation”… isn’t that the cause of Trump? Who is gonna fix it? Hiliary? It is what it is. Trump says he’s gonna fix the problem. He just might? We really don’t have much other choice but to support the man who says he gonna do something about it. The others said they would, but, didn’t.

        • Sorry to tell you this, buy if you don’t vote for Trump this country will be in a worse shape than the Great Depression. Our children will have no future and what is left of our future will be unbearable. The choice is to vote for Trumpor Sanders )and pay all our money in taxes) or Killory and have a One World order. Our government lies to us, throws away tax dollars, decreased our Defence and won’t take care of our veterans . At least we have a fighting chance with Trump- Think about it🚲

      • You are full of shit. Trump will screw all of us the way he screwed his partners and his employees at the Trump Casino in Atlantic City. A man who has walked away from every business deal by declaring bankruptcy 11 times should not even be considered as a possible president. The only one he cares about is himself. If you vote for him, you are a fool.

        • Your not too bright if you think killaries clam is not the biggest stench in this world along with the pencil dick with 2 big ears who drops guns ammo and s2a missiles to the enemy in Syria … Run forest run ya sure … Mr Trump is the bad guy… Wake up study some info and then beak off in the right direction… Bernie Sanders won California and Killary stole his seat … Sanders was better than them both but Trump is1000x better than world dominance by illegal means

    • that was in another frost poem, ‘Mending Wall’ – good fences make good neighbors. but if you read it carefully it is the character saying it, not the author. thx for the comment.

  13. You made my day, as well as a zillion other people sharing this link. Thank you! The only time I’ve seen Trump squashed so beautifully was by Jon Stewart when “Fuckface Von Clownstick” initially announced his candidacy.

  20. Sheer hilarity! I teach American Lit. to high school Sophomores. I hope you don’t mind if I use it (with attribution of course).

    • Very good.
      Here’s Bernie Sanders
      “Why did we stop? I don’t remember stopping. Maybe it’s the bank’s fault. These should be free woods. Free woods for all people. How uch did this horse cost. This horse should be free. Make sure the banks are not charging outrageous prices for all this snow. Did Hillary make it snow so I could not be at the next primary. I don’t know. I don’t really know anything so I’ll just choose the other road. Oh, wait, that’s a different poem. Well, both roads should be free for everybody. Someone needs to come get me out of this. Anyone, anybody, Beuller…

  30. The horses love me though. They do.
    They’re always shaking their bells at me, it’s very loving.
    It’s a beautiful thing.

    That is the best part.

  32. There were these two roads that went through a woods.
    It was the most beautiful shade of yellow, I mean really yellow, so yellow it reminded me of the sun rising over Trump tower
    And I thought to myself, I can only travel one of these roads–I mean I really only WANT to travel one of the roads–there was one that looked like it was built by foreign labor so I decided to wall it off so that nobody else would be able to travel it. I mean it was ugly–it was SO ugly it reminded me of the wife of one of my political opponents, and I decided the wall was going to be ten feet higher.

  34. Whose woods these are of course I know,
    His house is down in Mexico,
    He used to be our neighbor here,
    Til Muslim ban became a go.

    My monstrous horse sure is no Queer!
    It celebrates when we come near,
    Em’nent domain gave me this lake,
    Darkest passions it doth cheer.

    My passage is a piece of cake,
    My violence is no mistake,
    My Red Hats completed the sweep,
    The protestors their rights forsake.

    My words are empty dark and deep,
    But I have lies that I sell cheap,
    And walls to build before I sleep,
    And walls to build before I sleep.

    #nevertrump

  36. lol my intro to poetry teacher shared this with our class, very funny and please don’t vote for this guy

  39. Excellent! No matter how I try, there is no way to avoid hearing this in Trump’s voice! Other than that, it”s great!

  44. Donald Trump ’s
    defunct
    who used to
    brush a buttersmooth-golden
    hairpiece
    and break onetwothreefourfive hymensjustlikethat
    Jesus

    he was an asshole
    and what i want to know is
    how do you like your orange-skinned boy
    Mister Death

  47. Hey, what about that poem, by lemme see Whitman? that says good walls make for good neighbors.

    • oh dear. the poem is actually Mending Wall, by Frost not Whitman. It is a character in the poem who says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors’ but the narrative of the poem clearly disagrees and the meaning of the poem is the opposite. This is apparent from the opening line, which is, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall”.

  55. Donald Trump is not as bad of a person as many would lead you to think
    It is really Hillaries clam that her husband knows is really the stink
    Why else would have he chased Monica around the office on that faithful day
    If you were stuck with that stench in your bed You would also stray
    Donald is a businessman who carries himself soberly each and every day and night
    Hillary no doubt is really the stupidest one drinking not thinking emails and slight
    So pick on Mr Trump if you want to be left with egg on your face
    It is his fight with her and your opening your mouths out of place

  57. If Trump can conduct himself as he does cold sober…..just imagine how he would speak drunk! ( or would that perhaps put him in reverse mode??)

  61. Yellow snow
    Yellow snow
    I do not like the
    Yellow snow

    It tastes salt
    Not like a milkshake malt
    Oh how I hate
    Yellow snow.

    • yes, one other reader pointed that out (out of 200,000!). the problem is, if i fix it in the title, it changes the url and breaks all the links :(. so…apologies to Frost for that error.

  69. I want to laugh at Mr.Trump, but he’s too damn dangerous, to be funny anymore. Mr.Trump and his supporters want to restore white supremacy, by any means necessary, even if it cost the existence of America as we know it. They somehow believe that Obama stole their supremacy, by becoming the Leader of the free world and they are willing to die, or destroy America to get it back. Mr.Trump believes in white supremacy and Hillary Clinton believe we’re stronger together…which will America choose?

  71. […] art of Atari. A one-page Linnean tree of species, exquisitely zoomable and fractal. “Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening,” by Donald J. Trump (a parody, bien sur). Whoa: Skylab had private suites for each […]

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