Corporate America

MCDONALD’S NEW BREAKFAST SANDWICH SAID TO CONTAIN “FOOD”

mcdonalds

After years of lackluster earnings growth, McDonald’s Corporation (NYSE: MCD) is said to be trying a new approach.  Its new breakfast sandwich will contain “at least 50% food”, according to sources within the Fast Food giant.   “We have to expand our menu”,  a spokesman for the corporation said,   “and food is definitely the next place to go.  It’s where we see the market headed.”  The sandwich will sell for $4.99 and will be tested at select locations throughout the Northeast.  “We need to roll this out carefully.   Food is a huge new opportunity for us, and we want to make sure we get it right.  If this thing takes off, instead of just saying, ‘Billions and Billions sold’ we might actually be able to say billions and billions of what.’”

mcdonalds sandwichWhen asked about the development, customer Christopher Soucy, reached outside a store at a highway rest area, commented, “I guess I could try food.  I don’t really know.  Will it taste the same?”  It is this sort of skepticism that McDonald’s may face, from customers and investors alike.

The new sandwich will be called the “McBeth”, and will be, “loosely based” on Shakespeare’s, “MacBeth”.   When asked about the recipe, a McDonald’s spokesman replied,

“Fillet of a Fenny Snake,
In the Cauldron boyle and bake:
Eye of Newt, and Toe of Frogge,
Wooll of Bat, and Tongue of Dogge”:

Already, prices for Eye of Newt and Fenny Snake were soaring on futures markets, as word of the sandwich leaked out.

McDonald’s closed today at $112.22, up just under 1 percent.

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12 replies »

  1. MacDonald’s is making a huge mistake. Why add food to the menu after all these years? Food has a shelf life. It goes bad and people could get sick. And what about allergies? There has been a steady rise in children with allergic reactions to newt, frogge and bat parts in the last decade. Just think of the law suits. Nope, MacDonald’s should stick to what it does best-
    chemicals.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Are you sure the filet of fenny snake will actually be boyled and baked? Wouldn’t it be more cost-effective for McD to deep-fry it? Or are they boyling and baking it to make it more “heart healthy”? If so, shouldn’t they capitalize on it? Or is “boyle” not actually Shakespearean spelling for “boil,” but instead a code-word for “deep fry”? If indeed a cauldron is involved, that cauldron could be used for deep-frying. Just sayin’.

    Liked by 2 people

    • 🙂 everyone knows you cannot deep fry a fenny snake!!! perhaps you are thinking of the blinny snake, or the fenny lizzarde. on the other hand, we were unable to obtain a precise definition of ‘boyle’.

      Like

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