MORE HEADLINES FROM YAHOO NEWS (You Will Literally, Figuratively Die When You Read This!)

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Palestinian Leader Mahmoud Abbas Absolutely Stuns In Navy-blue Suit  (You have to see this)

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The President of the Palestinian Authority, speaking at a peace conference or whatever, stepped out in a suit that had everyone looking his way!   “We’ve seen Mahmoud rock the UN before, but never like this!” our correspondent reported.  “Nobody even noticed Netanyahu or the other leaders.  He just radiated.  The tie!  The glasses!  It was perfection.”  U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, noted, “He just has the look.  I mean, you have to hand it to him.  He’s the ‘It’ leader in the peace process right now.”

Supposedly, there was some kind of agreement or joint statement or something.

 

Bombshell in Candidate’s Tax Return!!!

It’s hard to believe, but it’s true!   City Council candidate Maurice Klowans recently donated a World War II bombshell to the local historical society, and took a $3,000 tax deduction.  “This is a real bombshell!” a member of the historical society said.  “It’s unusual to see one in such good condition.  We’ll display it along with other World War II memorabilia.”

 

What Theodore Roosevelt Looks Like Now Is Jaw-dropping (You Won’t Believe This!)

Hard to believe, but Teddy Roosevelt is already 158 years old!  Yup!  He first caught our eye as our 26th president back in 1901.    But look at how well-preserved he is from these pictures at a recent exhumation!  roosevelt

Just look at him!  He doesn’t look a day over 130.  And frankly, he looks just as fit as the day he died.   Hollywood style expert Brenda McPhee credits his remarkable youth to, “Hygiene, the right casket, and top-class embalming.”

 

What Happens Next Between This Crocodile and This Sheep is not Supposed to Happen!  (Hint, the sheep is on top)

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You just really have to see this one.  Trust us.  It’s just, like, Oh My God, we can’t even speak, you’ll totally freak, this is incredible, do you believe they pay me to write this crap, I’m running out of superlatives, holy smokes, I might need to go to uppercase, sorry, like OH MY GOD, YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT.   IT’S A SHEEP!   AND A CROCODILE! @#$OPIU#@$$U$U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   JUST CLICK ON IT DAMMIT!!!!!  CLICK OR I’LL LOSE MY JOB!  DO IT!!!   YAHOO IS GOING UNDER DON’T YOU READ THE PAPERS!!!!  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST CLICK ALREADY!!!!!

 

 

 

 

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17 COMMENTS

  3. Confession: I have more than once been sucked in by those annoying headlines promising that I will be shocked, only to click on a completely idiotic, boring video. Then I feel like a fool. Thanks for the snark.

    • Apparently his family paid for it. They were moving him to a different cemetery, and apparently couldn’t resist a peek inside the casket. Weird.

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