Humor

THE ROTTING POST INTRODUCES: “GOLD MEMBER” STATUS

gold member icon2

Many readers ask, “Hey, Rotting Post Guy…”  (or just “Hey, Rotface…” if we are already friends), “How do you plan to make any money with this blog thing if access is free and you’re not even advertising anything?”   Well, the answer’s simple:  Volume.

That’s why we are now offering special “Gold Member” status to our followers who subscribe, re-post us to Facebook, Tweet us, or stand on a street corner with a megaphone shouting, “Read The Rotting Post, Ye Sinners!”

Gold Member Status affords you the following very special privileges:

  1. You will have Gold Member Status
  1. You will be superior in every way to other members, upon whom you will rightfully look down with derision and disgust.
  1. Your comments will be guaranteed to be “liked” whether we really like them or not
  1. Your name will be inscribed on a special Wall of Virtuous Individuals at our Rotting Post World Headquarters using the finest calligraphy on a 100% pure post-it note.
  1. We will think often of how noble you are.
  1. You could win a brand new Tesla Model S*
*Although definitely not from us.

 

Or to put it another way…For the love of laughter, Subscribe, Repost, Email!

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Categories: Humor

Tagged as: , , ,

21 replies »

  1. I think in order for this to be literate snark, you’ll need to modify the phrase “who you will look down upon.” I suppose it’s a losing pedant-battle to sniff at the dangling preposition, but I’m holding out for “whom” in literate posts. I think “…whom you will rightfully despise” has a nice ring to it,

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mom? is that you??? Just kidding. Seriously….if it helps, i really did think about ‘whom’. i guess i’m just not a ‘whom’ kind of guy. although i admit the ‘who’ is also clunks a bit. kind of like the third person of unknown sex dilemma. i hate he/she, don’t like just ‘he’ and also don’t like just ‘she’. as for the dangling preposition, that rule clearly is silly in cases where the verb and preposition are generally closely wedded. thanks for keeping up the standards around here!

      Like

  2. Gold membership is a splendid idea! I feel at last I will get the respect of which I am so richly deserving. But I was wondering if I the Gold Card administrator would bend the rules a bit for me, in light of the respect of which I am so richly deserving. First, do you think you could BACK-DATE my Gold Membership to the time when first I laid eyes upon the blog? Second, could I get TWO cards, one for myself and one for my invisible friend which I have had since childhood, and who also enjoys the blog? Please respond quickly, I haven’t a moment to spare.

    Like

  3. We’re glad for your support and, on a special basis, will back-date your membership, which will entitle you to a free round of golf at our Rotting Post Golf Course, usable any time up until two weeks ago (note that this has a value of $300, which we will consider a charitable donation, and deduct from our taxes). Also, your friend and you will be placed on separate post-it notes, as “Anonymous” and “Friend of Anonymous”. We hope this answers your concerns and look forward to your continued support!

    Like

  4. I can’t figure out how to join as I am a primitive after 17 years on this accursed machine.Or have I just joined? I want to vote for the worst sex scene (cheese and grater) and I want to vote for whom as well. Also want to while away even more valuable hours after following up on all the political stuff and amazing animal stuff (dog saving hummingbird current fav (after penguin and Patagonian farmer)

    Like

  5. Hi Lucille. There is a tab in lower right that allows you to follow (or, if you scroll all the way down, a button on the lower left). click and enter your email address. you can an email notification and will need to confirm your subscription there. Welcome to the Rotting Post family!

    Like

  6. This is Mom. You always forget you are talking to me. Or at least have asked me a question. Well, I have learned to forgive. Whom is always best. No exceptions. Go with quality. Always. And get enough sleep. Mom

    Like

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