Day One: Saudi Arabia
Amazing. Great place. Fantastic people. Great sand. The most amazing sand you’ve ever seen. Beautiful. Gave me a beautiful award.
Recommended:
Sell zillions of dollars of advanced weapons.
Not Recommended:
Trying to touch Melania
Day Two: Israel
Meh. Very small wall they worship. We can do so much better.
Recommended:
Doesn’t Jared know how to wear a beanie? Total class.
Not Recommended:
That Yad Vashem Holocaust Memorial. How long am I supposed to grieve over the holocaust for? Fifteen whole minutes? So Boring. Will NEVER FORGET how boring it was.
Shalom..and Adios!
Day Three: The Vatican
Horrible. This is an entire country without a single hot woman. Terrible.
Recommended:
Pope jokes.
Lots of funny costumes like Disneyworld.
Not Recommended:
There’s a chapel there with a painted ceiling or something. So I look up and finally there’s a naked woman: Eve. And can you believe it? She looks like a man! Made me miss Yad Vashem.
Day Four: Brussels
Total disaster.
Recommended:
Berate the NATO allies.
Accuse everyone else in your party of owing you money.
Shove the president of Montenegro, if you happen to see him.
Not Recommended:
Angela Merkel is a 3 on a good day.
Facts at a glance:
Brussels is somewhere in Europe.
Day Five: Sicily:
Did you know there’s something called the G-7? I just learned that. Who knew?
Recommended:
Enjoy a good nap while Italy is giving its speech.
Not Recommended:
Germans.
Inhaling.
Facts at a glance:
Melania hates me.
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Love the new look cover page. I’m waiting to see you on TV one of these days.
thanks. if i’m ever on, i’ll be sure to let you know!
Fine summary of the week. Welcome travel advice.
thanks.
Would love to follow this itinerary, but my budget doesn’t permit it, unfortunately.
you can save by leaving your press secretary at home?
Another ‘not recommended’ for Israel- Don’t bother looking at a map to see if Israel is in the middle east. It’s a waste of time
very true. could he actually find israel on a map? i truly am not sure.
love this!
thanks!
well, you can save money by leaving your press secretary at homw?