My New Years Resolutions – By Vincent the Cat

Today’s post is brought to you by guest writer Vincent the Cat.

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Vincent, Guest Columnist

Vincent is our family cat and our feline Writer-in-Residence (seen at right looking every bit the unprincipled wastrel you might expect from the Rotting Post mascot.)

We adopted him from a shelter a couple of years ago, and though shy at first, he quickly assumed his rightful place as master of the house.

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24 COMMENTS

  1. Vince really puts those MFA programs to shame.

    And he’s such a gregarious fellow who doesn’t mind being reminded year in and year out that he was rescued from a shelter.

    But his chutzpah is unmistakable in No. 8. And the hell with all UN resolutions! 😉

    Happy New Year!

  2. Vincent is adorable. I snapped up his photo and added it to my “Cuties” board on Pinterest.You are obviously a proud papa. I wish you the happiest New Year and many adventurous trips on the kitchen counter for Vincent.

  3. Darling Vincent:

    I hope you don’t mind my rather familiar manner of addressing you, but I was smitten the moment I saw you in that GORGEOUS coat. (I expect Mr RP got it as a gift for you from Hermès, his favourite shop.)

    I find your tabby mask and your ever-so-slightly-visible-tabby tail to be very purrrotic! Your paw-writing is divine and brilliantly artistic – you clever, clever feline. Mmmm… handsome, artistic AND clever! I suspect that your living with the Rotting Posts must mean that you are also mega-wealthy. I think I am in love!

    I can tell from your photographs that you are very fit (in both senses of the word – we Brits use “well fit” to mean HOT!) From the comment that your underling, Mr Rotting Post, made about the first photograph, it is easy to see that he hasn’t a clue about yoga postures – “unprincipled wastrel” indeed! Mmmm again! Handsome, artistic, clever, rich, fit and spiritual! I AM in love!

    Your resolutions are admirable, but, my purrty one, I do hope you won’t object to some gentle quibbling with two of them.

    Specifically:

    Resolution ♯ 2. I expect you had just woken up when you wrote this one, eh Vince? Surely, as we have 9 lives, you meant to write: “Take the day one life at a time” and “It’s about the journeys” (plural)

    Resolution ♯ 9. You wrote “Continue to accomplish nothing” NOTHING, my darling furry one? You have accomplished so much in just two years! As we all know, dogs have masters but cats have staff, and you have demonstrably trained your staff very well viz. door being opened on command, and Mr RP’s acknowledgement that you are the master – and kudos to you, my darling, for that, but – and here comes the other quibble – what’s that other cat doing as Mr RP’s avatar? He’s a bit plain; not bad-looking I suppose – but let’s face it, my purrfect one, he is a tad nerdy, is he not?

    Of course I understand that he was perhaps selected by Mr RP to identify himself as an intellectual but I have seen Mr RP (sadly – sigh – only in a photograph) and, intellectual though he well may be, he is NOT nerdy… not by a long-shot. (Oops! It may sound as if I think nerdy cannot equate to attractive. It most certainly can, but – in my perhaps politically-incorrect opinion – nerdy ain’t sexy and that avatar cat ain’t sexy, whereas you and Mr RP are purrfectly sexy! 100 purrcent sexy!)

    So, my purrecious one, would you not please consider amending ♯9 to read that you WILL accomplish replacing your fellow feline as the avatar of Mr RP, the sexy scion of the Post family with his scintillating site? Or, purrhaps you need only resolve to give it the old college try? But remember your Resolution ♯6 “No compromises!” (Or should that be “No compurrmises”?)

    And, my darling pussy-pie, while you’re at your most purrsuasive with Mr RP, could you ask if it is purrsible for the Comments section to accept italics? It’s very difficult to gush without them… believe me, this comment would read very differently if I could have written my thoughts and endearments with the emphases I hear in my head.

    Oh Vinnie, you fetching feline, you fill me with felicity but – oh dear me – I must ask the $64,000 question. Do you… ahem!… have… ahem!… your … em… fur-belows intact? (I hope my meaning is clear. I do not want to spell it out in cyberspace – I am much too modest for that. And I don’t mean those things we like to vomit onto the Aubussons!) Oh my hopes are purrcolating in my furry breast! It would be such purrfection if we could purrform together! Purrlease, purrlease let me know as soon as purrsible.

    I am sending you a huge bottle of Purrfume de Tom-Cat under sepurrate cover. From Ireland (where I must disclose that I reside – but oh, my darling Vin, an ocean purrhaps, isn’t too large an obstacle where love is concerned) I will use the courier Purrolator. I will send you a tracking number (which reminds me – I hope you haven’t instructed your staff to put one of those new-fangled cat-tracking devices on your furry purrsonage. I think some uppity servants just want to interfur with our furdom. Don’t allow such purrfidy – that’s my advice.)

    Oh, V, my furriness supreme, I send you all my love and hopes for a wonderful 2017. If it were in my power, I would grant you 9 lives purr annum that we might live together in purrpetual bliss… and, if your fur-belows are missing – no, no, I cannot contemplate the horror …

    But I shall remain, whatever the fact, your most ardent and purrenial admirer,

    Kaytess The Kittenish

    P.S. My friends, (including you I hope, my newest and dearest friend – purrchance lover?) call me Kat

    • Kat..thanks so much for the amazing a hilarious comment. The RP family all read with many laughs (although squirmed slightly at the references to the nether reaches of fur!). I am afraid i cannot match the wit at the moment, so let me just say sincerely thank you so much for following the blog and sharing your own brand of humor! Sadly, there is no way to allow italics in the comments. There is always uppercase? love the “take the day one life at a time!”. happy new year!

  4. You go Vincent. Those are excellent resolutions. I am concerned, however, that they may be overly ambitious. I suspect by about January 23rd you will find that you are ubable to maintain your rigorous napping goals. Good luck though.

  5. Impressive resolutions, Vincent! This is why cats rule and dogs drool. My cat Chubs says to tell you he is in solidarity with you on all of these, especially #6. Happy New Year to everyone at TRP!

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