It was back in 1989 when a great American vice-president, J Danforth Quayle, uttered these immortal words: “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.”
O, how we mocked Dan Quayle at the time. And yet now we finally see how foolish we were to have forgotten him! Or not to have noticed him the first place is being very foolish. How true that is.
Just consider this past week:
First we learned that Donald Trump junior, a.k.a., Mini-Me, really did try to collude with Russia, but failed when it turned out that the information provided on Hillary Clinton involved math – which led to an abrupt end to the meeting after only twenty minutes.
As usual, we in the lamestream media* acted like there was something suspicious about the Trump campaign colluding with the Russians, when of course there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation: They’re part of an evil worldwide conspiracy! Geez.
What’s more, President Trump was absolutely right to praise his son’s transparency: As soon as Donald Trump junior knew that The New York Times had his actual emails, he stopped lying about them. You have to admire that.
Yet for pure horribleness, Donald Trump senior is not going to yield to his son so easily. Let’s have a look at his own week:
First it was off to the G20 Ball, where at long last, our amorous president had a chance to declare his true feelings for his Russian counterpart. How rapturous, how magical were those two hours they spent together! And when it was over, there was great news to share across the land: We’re going work together on cybersecurity with Russia! The country that hacked our election! What could go wrong with that?
Next it was time for a jaunt to Paris to check out the French President’s wife’s body. (You have to pity the translator who was forced to translate, “You’re in great shape…beautiful.”)
And yet the greatest greatness of all was yet to come! Because on the flight back home on Air Force One, our actual president unveiled these actual plans for our border wall with Mexico in the following actual statement:
“…It could be a steel wall with openings, but you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side of the wall. As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them—they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”
Okay, it does sound kind of crazy. But that’s only because it is.
Reenactment: Mexican Side of the Border Wall
First bad hombre: Amigo, what we do with this 7 million dollar worth of heroin?
Second bad hombre: Good question. Let me think. Wait, I have idea. Why don’t we just chuck it over this big, opaque wall?
First bad hombre: Si. Good idea. (Throws bag over wall). Only…now who will pay us?
Second bad hombre: Crap. I knew we forget something!
First bad hombre: If only the wall is transparent, then we could see if our guy is there on the other side to pick it up.
Second bad hombre: That’s good idea. You should suggest to idiot American president.
First bad hombre: Is he really that much idiot? Or is he just play pretend?
Second bad hombre: He invite Russia to work with U.S. on cybersecurity!
First bad hombre: Not to have a mind is being very wasteful.
Second bad hombre: How true that is. Who said that?
First bad hombre: Some very wise man.
Our Opinion: Donald Trump senior is still the worst Donald Trump.
*Note: we in the lamestream media strenuously object to the term, “lamestream”. Our stream is not lame! It just drips a lot.