This Country Is Temporarily Out Of Service, Due to Treasons Beyond Our Control



It’s been a busy week and getting hard to keep up, so I hope you enjoyed the brief public service message and I hope to get a new piece out early next week. In the meantime, here is an unrelated bit of bonus coverage, an actual letter I sent, some weeks ago, to one of DJT’s law firms:







  1. Another letter, this one received at the White House:

    Dear Mr. President,

    Donald, Donald, Donald! You are so far behind the times, it’s bigly disappointing, even embarrassing. If you want to be President-for-Life, like me, you really gotta step up your game. Repression comes with the territory, my friend, and it pains me to say that you are, how to put this delicately, a wimp. Of course you have to purge the civil service of anyone who still believes in democracy, justice, and fair treatment of the poor. And those generals who think it’s bad to send soldiers into the streets to quell those pesky “Marches on Washington”?? Trust me when I tell you no one will notice if you stand a couple of them against the wall with a cigarette and a blindfold, know what I mean? (“wink wink :))”. But where you are bigly (thank you for inventing this word. It just rolls off the tongue!) bigly missing the boat is in your total failure to bring those dogs in the “free press” to heel. Bashir and I were just talking about this the other day. If you thing that tweeting out “FAKE NEWS, FAKE NEWS” at the top of your lungs is going to win hearts and minds, you got another think coming, my friend. In the first place, everybody knows it’s not fake news, it’s you who are delivering fake democracy. In the second place, every time you say it, it just makes people look all the harder for the truth, and look where that’s gotten you. And in the second place, it’s such a distraction!

  2. Sorry, being President for Life is not necessarily a qualification for “secretary of the year”. To continue, my friend, you must do a better job with the press. Take that Daniel Blum fellow, the one who keeps drawing nasty pictures of you and ridiculing your “eccentric” hair style. Perfect example. If you just locked him up in one of your many, many federal prisons, presto! No more snarky (but I have to say, “giggle-inducing” skewerings. My favorable ratings are through the roof, and you want to know why? I’ve got all of our “free press” dogs sitting behind bars! It works like a charm! So take a tip from a guy who’s been around the block a few times on this one, Donnie-Boy, don’t whine about the FAKE NEWS, lock it up instead. Of course, the non-fake news gets a pass, as long they play ball. You need the Foxes and Breitbarts in your corner.
    Speaking of which, do you think you could arrange a date for me with that Dana Perino babe – she’s so hot she makes me wish I was a Republican! Anyway, I hope this advice has been helpful. Just give me a call if you want to talk about any of this; I’m always glad to share some of tips I’ve picked up over the decades.

    Your Pal,

    Tayip Erdogan
    Ankara, Turkey

    • haha. thanks for taking the time to write this. i have to admit that the thought of trump reading it is rather scary, as he would no doubt feel that the tyrants he so admires are indeed more true men than he is, and he needs to go full-on Fascist – which is his true instinct after all.

    • i certainly did send this, via email. have not heard back. i wrote a second one for Kasowitz, on his criminal defense team, but that is still sitting in my drafts folder.

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