Europe & The Middle East On Five Million Dollars A Day – Donald J Trump

 

 

Day One:  Saudi Arabia

Amazing.  Great place.  Fantastic people.  Great sand.  The most amazing sand you’ve ever seen.  Beautiful.  Gave me a beautiful award.

Recommended:

Sell zillions of dollars of advanced weapons.

Not Recommended:

Trying to touch Melania

Day Two:  Israel

Meh.  Very small wall they worship.  We can do so much better.

Recommended:

Doesn’t Jared know how to wear a beanie?  Total class.

Not Recommended:

That Yad Vashem Holocaust Memorial.  How long am I supposed to grieve over the holocaust for?  Fifteen whole minutes?  So Boring.  Will NEVER FORGET how boring it was.

Shalom..and Adios!

Day Three:  The Vatican 

Horrible.  This is an entire country without a single hot woman.  Terrible.

Recommended:

Pope jokes.
Lots of funny costumes like Disneyworld.

Not Recommended:

There’s a chapel there with a painted ceiling or something.  So I look up and finally there’s a naked woman: Eve.  And can you believe it?  She looks like a man!  Made me miss Yad Vashem.

Day Four:   Brussels

Total disaster.

Recommended:

Berate the NATO allies.
Accuse everyone else in your party of owing you money.
Shove the president of Montenegro, if you happen to see him.

Not Recommended:

Angela Merkel is a 3 on a good day.

Facts at a glance:

Brussels is somewhere in Europe.

Day Five:  Sicily:

Did you know there’s something called the G-7?  I just learned that.  Who knew?

Recommended:

Enjoy a good nap while Italy is giving its speech.

Not Recommended:

Germans.
Inhaling.

Facts at a glance:

Melania hates me.

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11 COMMENTS

  1. Another ‘not recommended’ for Israel- Don’t bother looking at a map to see if Israel is in the middle east. It’s a waste of time

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