Humor

CARLY FIORINA ANNOUNCES THIRD-PARTY VICE-PRESIDENTIAL BID, “Considering Options” For Presidential Running Mate

In a stunning development from the Stop Trump movement, Carly Fiorina, who lost her bid to become her party’s presidential nominee, and then lost again as Ted Cruz’s vice presidential candidate, announced a new plan, this time to run for vice president as a third-party candidate.  “This thing’s not over!” she said.  “It’s never over!”

Fiorina is perhaps best known for weirding out the nation as Ted Cruz’s running mate by breaking into a children’s song at a press conference for no apparent reason.

As for her presidential running mate, Fiorina said she was looking for someone, “Who could work effectively with me.  And someone who could jump in at a moment’s notice and assume the responsibilities of the vice presidency, should anything happen to me.”

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Reached for comment, Hillary Clinton declared, “This doesn’t change a thing for me.  I’m just going keep reading whatever the teleprompter says.”

Trump, meanwhile, put out a tweet connecting Fiorina to the Natalie Wood drowning.  “Conspirin’ Carly has no alibi.  Cannot prove she wasn’t on that boat.  Doesn’t look good.”

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8 replies »

  1. One more facelift and that woman will be blinking on the back of her head. Sheesh!

    T-Rump makes me physically ill. I prefer to think of him as a small T-Rex, with: (a) tiny, little arms that are suitable only for flailing around, (b) a huge, roaring mouth that ironically says nothing of consequence, and (c) an indiscriminate desire to destroy or devour everything around him – while blaming the death and chaos on “those criminal brontosaurus immigrants.” Whenever he gets too depressing, I like to imagine that bizarre hair sitting on top of a tiny T-Rex; I usually laugh until it hurts.

    When anyone mentions actual facts (such as the fact that The Flintstones aren’t a legitimate source of information about dinosaurs), he shouts over them until they get disgusted and leave. It’s the Bully’s Way, you know. It’s also known as the Toddler’s Way. Obviously, no one cared enough about him to nip that nasty behavior in the bud when he was three years old.

    Uh-oh, it’s time for a coughing fit. Must climb down off this soapbox now. DEFEAT TRUMP! Let’s show him that the office of President is NOT for sale!

    Liked by 1 person

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