Last year’s johnnies are definitely out!
Today’s hospital patient is looking for sleek lines, something that is sexy yet warm and inviting, that is not afraid to show a little leg, a little saggy underwear in back. Something that’s says, ‘Farewell, World’ with a flash of the rear that is bold, carefree, and sophisticated.
This year it’s all about sheer! Snaps are out. Velcro is definitely in! And the hemline is headed up, up, up! Colors are teal, aqua, and classic blue-grey – all designed with a mind toward mass conformity and mindless submission.
Last year’s overly delicate scarabs and florals are over! Now it’s all about simplicity, dehumanization, and impending doom. And that faded, previously soiled look gives this year’s gowns the casual, understated humiliation that will help this year’s terminal case go quietly, uncomplainingly, off to the hereafter.
Be sure to accessorize with IV line and oxygen mask!
So don’t wait until it’s too late! Get these hot new items on your gift list. Perfect for Mother’s Day!
So funny. It’s about time someone satirized hospital gowns. They are indeed dehumanizing. It’s difficult enough to be a hospital patient without being subjected to the humiliation of an exposed butt from a poorly designed hospital gown!